chilling reporting

It was 10 am when i received call from my editor informing me about bus accident in Lamperi. I thought i will do desk job but he asked me to get the information by actually being there at the accident spot and challenging ma career! "Your career depends on this coverage, if you can then you are in or else" he said.!!!! (At first i thought that's not fair then i realised it is one way to prove i can do it under any circumstances)
I immediately jumped from my so called executive chair and took Pema with me. My whole mind was chanting i don't miss any important piece of information. Trying to find network in the middle of the highway was not as easy so that i can inform office on the casualty and upload breaking news online.
As we drove recklessly to reach the spot on time my head began to spin, ultimately i realised i came without having breakfast. I immediately open my bag n saw nothing but flakes of "zaw" inside my bag that came out of torn plastic (i brought one packet of zaw the other day). I picked every bit and pieces and munched. (Everyone in the car started laughing and commented my little mouth is never at peace) hahahah :P
After half an hour later, we found ourselves at the spot.
The first sight i witnessed was police personnel trying to pull something out of steep forest, i assumed it might be a bus. I ran immediately to capture the in action of brave rescue team.
When i was there at the exact location of accident, i was shocked to see they were actually pulling out the dead bodies. I became numb and didn't know where to head, what to do and what to say!! It took me few seconds to be back to normal stage when i partially heard few officers announcing number of deaths. I jotted down immediately and messaged my editor. I kept running up and down when ever group of officers gathered to talk about the accident as i hoped to retrieve little bit of extra information.
They continued pulling the dead bodies, which was below 519 ft down the road. Families waited impatiently to identify the body wishing let not one be theirs. As each body was brought on the roadside, relatives mobbed towards the body and police were trying to shoo them. When i looked around, i saw everyone was shivering with cold yet very helpful. Someone suddenly receives a call informing another female died in the hospital adding nine death by then. What was more hurting was to witness a child below eight years lying dead on the tarpaulin. I weep as their family began to cry that completely weakened my confidence in reporting, then next i was more sad when a pregnant woman body was pulled out. I have never witnessed such a tragedy before in my entire life.
About five hours later, all the bodies were pulled out. The relatives gave huge cry. It was heartening to watch someone crying for they lost their loved ones. A tall young looking man came running and burst into cascade of tears crying out "How am i going to live without my wife and my baby hasn't even seen this world" I almost broke down looking at his face, tears started running down my cheek. (I badly wanted someone to hold my tears back atm) Another in her mid 30 came shouting "Where is my sister" and crushed on the ground when her sister lay down on the tarpaulin still. Seven-year-old boy father nearly went off the road when he couldn't control his bike as he saw his son dead and half of his leg outside the piece of cloth.
(I stood like a fool and i forgot i was there to report) then i hated my job for a second. When everyone was busy helping each other me, my colleague and photographer were worried we don't miss out any important information. My heart became heartless and i went hungry for how many more died at the hospital and the causes of the accident? Not even bothered to know how poor driver and his assistant would be going through instead kept asking was it their fault?

Then few police and army personnel helped in wrapping the body and put them inside the DCM. Public people were running away whispering "Lets run else police will ask us to lift the body." This only say no empathy was seen in the atmosphere but a mere sympathy just as equal to watching a drama but i was also not doing anything does that mean i belong to same category?. Then the bodies were taken to mortuary and family headed to hospital to claim the body.

On the way back i was thinking am i supposed to write the accident occurred because of driver's negligence? RSTA was not vigilant to nab driver carrying extra passengers? mechanic failure? or should i blame police?

Finally my reporting would be about how many died, how it happened and who is responsible. As usual i had to blame driver for carrying extra passengers and inexperience driving for it was only three months he drove that bus. The article was published, everyone read and controversy started who is responsible.

But it still haunts my mind about that tragedy and still clearly remembers the old woman wearing "seshu" kira lying down holding her tego tightly.

To add some humour, in the middle of tragedy it was also funny to watch commuters running after sun direction for they needed to warm themselves. After awhile i could see them about half Km away from the spot......i can still remember someone in black gho with his red monkey hat standing at the edge of road basking under partial sun shivering.

The only thing i learned from that incident is "life is unpredictable" and i keep thinking what would have 36-week old infant knew about death?